Irish English Dictionary

A short Anglo-Irish lexicon of love.

(Please note that this refers to 2007/2008, i.e. before the banking crash. There's obviously a new Taoiseach, G. Ryan's dead, etc.)

-"Absolutely" = "yes". I once explained that "absolutely" was the new "actually". Talking of which...
-"Actually". I postulated somewhere by "actually" reveals an epochal deep-seated anxiety on the speaker's part: as if everyone were now so unsure of being believed in this here age of Internet-based unreliability ...that they therefore engage in some sort of escalating mania for redundancy.
-Alliance Francaise = French cultural centre offering "the best coffee in Dublin" according to Irvine Welsh who used to take lessons there. Haunting place of various luminaries.
-"AMG" = "AhMyGahd". Unimaginative variation: "Oh. My. God. (you won't believe who I've just seen, etc. etc. etc.)."
-"Aul’ wan" = old woman.
-"Away with the fairies" = to have a bird brain, to be mad.
-"Back in the land of the living" = back in Dublin, usually from the countryside. Not often used by speakers hailing from outside the capital (see "Culchies").
-Ballyfermot = Dublin area, like Kilmainham, Donnybrook, Crumlin, Tallaght, Clondalkin...
-"Bertie" = the godfather. Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern.
-Bewley's = cafe slash restaurant where one goes to have a nice cup of tea after a spot of shopping in the adjourning Grafton Street.
-"The black stuff" = Guinness.
-"Bold" = naughty. ""Oh Ramon, but you are being awfully bold here", whimpered Lucinda, aglow with embarrassment and not a little shiver of excitement."
-"Bollix" = bollocks. The legend that is Roy Keane once famously invited his then national manager to "stick it up (his) bollix!", an anatomically inventive feat if there ever was one.
-"The-Brits" = the subjects of Her Britannic Majesty.
-"(by) the Bono!" = (taking a sacred name in vain) interjection denoting either pleasure or displeasure. Refers to Bono Vox (aka Paul Hewson), rock singer with U2 at night, cigar smoker / future President of Ireland (25/1 as I type) / ideal Pope / perennial Nobel Peace Prize nominee / hotelier by day.
-"Brutal" = not brutal per se, more like: terrible, serious, proper, hardcore.
-"Celtic Tiger" = that probably unique period in Irish history of financial prominence. No actual tiger is involved.
-Charlie Haughey = eighties Prime Minister whose, er, colourful personality and -cough cough- flamboyant finances did not meet with everybody's approval. The so-called "father of the Celtic Tiger", he abolished taxes for artists and granted free transport to pensioners.
-"C’m here till I tell ya" = an invitation to come forth, the speaker being in a talkative mood.
-"Craic" = fun; the essence of which is often the vexed subject of many an opening address, namely: "What’s the craic?!"
-"Croker" = Croke Park, one of the biggest stadiums in the whole of Europe, home of GAA and -until 2007- forbidden to "Anglo" sports such as soccer and rugby, on account of the 1920 massacre.
-"Culchie" = derogatory term meaning someone from outside Dublin. In the interest of balance, one must also mention the reverse insult aimed at Dubliners: "Jackeens" (with reference to the Union Jack).
-"Cute" = clever. "See this Loig7San -he’s awfully cute!"
-"Dear" = expensive.
-"Deco" = short for Declan. Guy who usually goes out with a girl named Sinead (-hey, some of my very best friends are called Deco!)
-D 4 = postcode to the posh part of Dublin (such as: Dun Laoghaire or Blackrock).
-(The) Dail = the Parliament.
-"Deadly" = great (appreciative).
-"Dub" = Dubliner (name and adjective); the salt of the earth; fecking useless at GAA since the eighties.
-Eamon Dunphy = ex-footballer turned media pundit. Never in lack of an opinion or ten. "Rabble-rouser" and "unmissable" are two adjectives often used in conjunction with the man.
-"Eejit" = idiot.
-"(to) Feak" = to kiss, to snog –one step short of to fuck.
-"filum" = film.
-FAI = Football Association of Ireland. Organism that once appointed Stan "Steve" Staunton manager of the national team.
-"Fair play to you" = well done, good for you.
-"Fecking" (and "focken", which is soundedly more brutal) = clever roundabout way not to utter another interjection whose correct spelling I'll leave to your imagination.
-"Fella" "Fellow" "Fellet" = boyfriend.
-"(to) Fret" = to worry.
-"Frog's Legs" = a potent supersweet cocktail of dubious colour aimed at young ladies in quest of a good time. Cf. also a "screaming orgasm", "sex on the beach", etc. -Yous get the general idea. It may not be advisable to buy someone a "Frog's Legs" when, unbeknown to you, that someone's burly father is standing right at the bar.
-GAA = a man's game (in fact, several); All-Ireland Gaelic games involve batting a ball -and sometimes an opponent- with a great fecking wooden spoon.
-"Gas ticket" = somebody fun, providing joy and a good laugh. "Baby Aibhin is such a gas ticket", exclaimed her mum "-it’s like having a new telly!"
-"Gaybo" = the venerable Gay Byrne, lifelong host of "The Late Late Show" and keen motorcyclist.
-"Gedda out of the park!" = you are having a laugh, my dear boy/girl.
-"Gee" = lady’s part (rude).
-(The) George = gay drinking establishment. Hosts jazz sessions on Sunday afternoons (and no, this is not a euphemism for something else).
-"(to) Give out" = to moan, whine, and generally let it all out for a refreshing frank and open.
-Gerry Ryan = inexplicable presence on the radio.
moving on to
-"Gobshite" = eejit.
-"Good for the goose" = susceptible of sexual conduct, as in "Hey dude, here comes Aoife -ay caramba!- do you reckon she’s good for the goose?"
-"Good luck!" = goodbye!
-"Good man yourself!" = well done!
-"Goodbye!" = good luck! -only joking. Means "Goodbye."
-"Grand" = that which is good, fine, and even great.
-Grainne Seoilge = the gods’ gift to TV viewers, Grainne Seoilge is a Bambi faced newsreader blessed with a peachy complexion, a sparkle in her almond eyes, a darling of a chin, and a full set of perfect teeth that come in handy for (all too rare) flashes of a smile.
And, oh, what an unfortunate juxtaposition we have here with the next term:
-"Ham shanking" = the practice of self-pollution.
-Haughey = see Charlie Haughey.
-"Holiers" = holidays.
-George Hook = mountain of a man who doesn’t half-like to pontificate on rugby and various subjects on the box and the radio. Blessed with a sandpapering voice which, once heard, is never forgotten. Everybody loves George Hook.
-"GSOH" = "Going Soft Or Homo" as in "Hey dude, ripped the remake of "Cannibal Holocaust" last night, the one made with children and fluffy little kittens you know? ...Huh. Didn't flip my switch, must be GSOH."
-"Hoor" = alarmingly affectionate accolade, made up -who would have guessed- after the word "whore". "See (insert name of choice) –what a cute little hoor!"
-"How's she cutting?" = how do you do. Cf. also "How's she hanging?", "What's the story (bud)!!", "Ah there you are".
-"Howsa." = how do you do, what’s up bitches?
-"(((((hug)))))" = sending good wishes to someone over the World Wide Web. IMHO, men just love to receive such messages -and talk about getting them to write one themselves!
-"IMHO" = "In My Humble Orifice" -er, opinion! In My Humble Opinion! (oops...)
-"It’s all good" = judgement of a probably appreciative nature.
-"Jaysus" = Jesus.
-Sinead Jennings = Olympian athlete and trainee nurse from county Donegal who sure does her country proud.
-Joanne Cantwell = beguiling sports TV presenter with a little side-smile, a studiously repressed glitter in the eye, and an accent that would melt butter at twenty paces.
-"Kecks" = trousers.
-"(we) Know how to enjoy ourselves" = we get piss*d a lot.
-"Know-what-I-mean" = like "actually" and "like", a mandatory part of any Dubliner sentence.
-Liffey = river smack in the middle of Dublin that supposedly separates civilisation from the wilderness (please note I am not saying which side is which; let's just point out that the airport was built for faster escape on the North side).
-"(the) Lights are on but there’s nobody home" = someone not overly endowed with powers of reflection. A footballer maybe, or a model.
-"Like." May just be heard uttered occasionally by da-yout-of-today. Pillar of any sentence, never used as a term of comparison. Makes for a nice sing-song stop at the end of any proposition like.
-"Like I said" = as I said (Americanism).
-Lillie’s Bordello = select hang-out de rigiour for the Colin Farrell bad-boy type. …Would also benefit from the patronage of wild wacky and wonderful novelists, mind.
-"LOL" = "lots of laughs" or "laughing out loud"; expression of amusement used by texters (or TxTrs, even). Does not mean "lots of love", as a certain person's mother believed and used to sign all her messages with -God love 'er.
-"LOLnot" = "laughing out loud -not"; expression of distinct non amusement used by texters.
-LUAS = the circular electric tramway.
-"Ma" = Mum.
-"Me" = my. Unless when it means "me".
-M50 = parking space masquerading as a circular motorway.
-"Morto" = mortified. "Dude, Eimear gave me the evil eye and I was -like- morto!"
-"Mot" = girlfriend.
-"Munter" = a young lady not blessed with pleasing looks.
-"Muppet" = idiot.
-"Myself" = more often than not, me. An extraordinary amount of people don’t seem to know the difference between "myself" (reflexive) and "me" (accusative). One gets to actually see "he looked at myself" printed in the paper (true).
-NLI = the National Library of Ireland -fair play to the NLI, says I!
-"Nice little ride" = young person whose pleasing appearance and overall genial demeanour elicit thoughts of a sexual nature. Good in the sack. "Check out Aoife dude, she looks like a nice little ride, know-what-I-mean?"
-"Noddies" = female breasts. As in "Gee dude, check the noddies on that little ride! Wouldn’t kick her out of bed if she farted!"
-"NOF" = "Not Office Friendly"; clearly someone who doesn't like offices. Probably someone who prefers working on his/her own. A freelancer, perhaps. Or a misunderstood genius novelist.
-"North Side" = the Liffey river defined half of Dublin which is generally considered to be the more working-class of the two. This being said, personalities such as Bertie Ahern and The Bono In Person are native Northsiders.
-(Senator) David Norris = flamboyant –in other words, gay- representative, human rights activist, Joyce scholar, and radio personality whose main historic legacy will have been to bring about the decriminalisation of homosexuality in the Republic of Ireland.
-"Now then." Warning before any course of action, usually stated when the person sits down.
-"Off The Rails" = the, like, most totally awesome show on the telly which Lily should, by rights, be fronting (even though it's not very good) instead of that old ******* of ****** ****** ***.
-"On me todd" = on my own.
-"OPW" = Office of Public Works.
-"Pal" = mate.
-Panti Hose = superlative drag-queen (at least seven feet tall) who would have dear-old-Oscar running for the hills. Traditionally hosts the highlight of Dublin’s annual social calendar: the election of "alternative miss Ireland".
-Pat Kenny = inexplicable presence on the radio and the television.
-"Plastic Paddy" = accusation levelled at that celtic brethren residing abroad who dares to be proud of its heritage. Who hasn't been labelled a "plastic Paddy" at some stage or another?
-Podge and Rodge = foul-mouthed TV puppets beloved of children of all ages. Catchphrase: "Talk to me sack!"
-"Poxy" = that which is of inferior quality. Shite.
-"Pulling the devil by the tail" = to be in top form.
-"Rashers" = meat-based product beloved of non-vegetarians.
-Roses of Tralee = talent show for young Celtic ladies selected the world over, the alpha and omega of Irishness. And Uma adds: could do with commissioning new talent to go down there and report in their inimitable style, know-what-I-mean! Takes place in Tralee.
-"ROFL" = Retching On the Floor, Legless -or, for the less poetically inclined, Rolling On the Floor Laughing.
-RTE = Radio Television Eireann; you could say the BBC is the UK's version of RTE.
-"Sambo" = sandwich. Now here is a local expression that would travel badly over the sea. As a rule, spoken abbreviations often take "o" as a suffix : cf. "Keano" for Keane, "Deco" for Declan, "The Indo" for "The Independent newspaper, and so on.
-"Scratcher" = bed.
-"Scoby" = some stuff, dat ting.
-"Scouldy" = rather lacking in cleanliness, one might say. Fecking shite like.
-"Shaking hands with the unemployed" = the act of micturating. "Splashing one’s boots."
-"Skanger" = derogatory description of a disreputable young person usually dressed in tracksuit bottoms and a baseball cap despite not thought to be frequenting a gymnasium or playing baseball.
-"(to) Slag someone" = to slag them off.
-"Slainte!" = cheers!
-"South Side" = the more opulent and touristic half of Dublin.
-"Spanner" = politically incorrect questioning of someone’s mental ability. Yet another idiot.
-"Sprog" = a wee little bairn. An infant, not always legitimate.
-"Spuds" = potatoes. The main course of "breakfast", "tea", and "supper" -along with MEAT of course (cf. rashers).
-"Steaming" = under the definitive influence of alcoholic beverages.
-"Straightener" = a "hair of the dog" drink ...or a punch administered to the face, the choice is yours.
-"(to be) Sucking diesel" = to be on a roll.
-"Talk-to-Joe" = popular radio program (actual name: "Liveline") hosted by Joe Duffy, a gentleman whose voice makes Eamon Dunphy sound like Enya. Ideal for the days when your local newsagent has run out of copies of "The Sun".
-"Talk to me brown!" = (extremely vulgar) indication of a lack of interest for someone’s forthcoming opinion.
-"(go) Take a long walk off a short pier!" = an invitation to off eff.
-"Tea" = lunch. And tea.
-TCD = Trinity College Dublin.
-TD = Teachta Dala (member of Parliament).
-Temple Bar = drinking district for foreign tourists, mainly British, policed by Eastern European bouncers. Also site of cultural institutions such as the IFI (Irish Film Institute), the National Photographic Archive, the Olympia theatre, as well as the organic market on Saturdays.
-"Thanks a million" = thank you (please note: no smaller amount will do).
-"That yoke" = anything, really.
-"The man himself" = your man.
-"To be perfectly honest wid cha," = a Dubliner's start to any sentence.
-"Toodleeoh!" = goodbye.
-"Trinners" = Trinity College for short.
-UCD = University College Dublin.
-UK, the = mysterious neighbouring country less economically advanced whence revellers (male and female) arrive every weekend to get intoxicated in Temple Bar.
-"Up the Dubs!" = local exhortation aimed at encouraging the GAA team to go and actually win some fecking thing after twenty-odd years of frustration.
-U2 = popular beat combo.
-VPL = visible panty line. "AMG, "whale tails" are like so last year's VPLs!"
-Louis Walsh = bachelor pop music manager personally responsible for Johnny Logan, "The X Factor", Westlife, Boyzone and Girls Aloud (…and it is sometimes claimed that Aleister Crowley was "the world’s most evil man" eh).
-"Wagon": less than appreciative comment on a woman.
-"(do you want to) Wake up with a crowd around you?" = "Do you want to have a go big man? huh? do you??" An invitation to engage in fisticuffs and get properly out knocked.
-"(to) Wreck someone’s bonce" = to get on someone’s top bollix, to do their head in.
-XXX = signatory "love and kisses" sign-off. Or, alternatively, hardcore porn.
-"Young Wan" = young woman.
-"Your man" = anyone really, anyone -except your actual man. He who is being talked about, the man on the street, etc..



Excerpt from "You Know Yourself 2.0"-Uma o'Gil. For any comment, here is a contact email: loig7san "at" gmail.com -peace, yo'all!