Daz the Investigator -He's got he's finger on the pulse!

ZZ Top concert -Daz the Investigator reports.

 

 

Hot on the heels of Elvis Costello (review pending) and tax-clever Jimmy Carr came American band ZZ Top.

 

Shiny plates, mullets, beards, tattoos a gogo, beer bellies that could feed the homeless, denim trousers and denim jackets, t-shirts of Marshall amplifiers / Rolling St*nes / The Who or Motorohead -a somewhat aged but nonetheless totally rocking populace took control of the Apollo this Tuesday night.

 

Spotted in the audience were Albert Finney, cult member Billy Duffy, good time gal Jeanette Winterson, Uma o'Gil, the entire first eleven of Manchester United (20 national titles to their name, 20), none from Manchester Citeh, computer pioneer Alan Turing (loitering by the toilets), Sir Ben Kingsley, Tim Booth out of James, Belinda from Tesco, Olympics director Danny Boyle, aufentic painter L.S. Lowry, hard rocker Neil Gallagher without estranged brother Liam, Anthony "H" Wilson, your ma in flip-flops, MP Hazel Blears, Alan Partridge.

 

The ZZs made their entrance to the sound of -I shit yous not- Underworld (smthg off their 2nd album) and off we went. Introducing the chucklesome trio: Billy Gibbons on guitar and vocals, Dusty Hill on bass and vocals and Frank Beard on a stool. (Frank Beard who -did you know?- is the only one not to wear a beard despite being called Beard ha ha ha ha!)

The band instantly set the tone with their opening number, "She's Got Me Under Pressure", quite clearly a long-overdue denunciation of the pernicious influence women exert over men in this politicly correct day and age (and "Amen to that!" adds this reviewer).

 

 Oh how we marvelled as the two guitarists, complete with comedy beards, cowboy hats and sequined (but not homosexual looking, though) dinner jackets, executed carefully rehearsed synchronised dance steps as they embarked on a greatest hits medley that married the new with the old as well as classics with modern in a satisfying smorgasbord of veritable eclectic diversity that spelled "tradition" and "modernity" in safe harmony. Surprisingly slim legs, the both of them -it certainly didn't look like they had put on the pounds like Twin Peaks' terrible enfant Sherilyn Fenn, TV funnyman Johnny Vegas or Dublin reject Boy George!

 

I was a bit disappointed that they didn't do "Living On A Prayer" but at least we got "Gimme All Your loving" and "She's Got Two Legs". They also did a cover version of celebrated drug addict Jimmy Hendrix ("Foxey Lady") so it was well good. I couldn't help feeling though, that the show could have done with a couple of strippers to enliven the proceedings. (Any show is always considerably improved by the presence of strippers.) True that, it's a big stage to fill for these two guys and Beard doesn't help them much in that instance, spending his sweet time sitting on his arse! But the 'Tops had probably anticipated this totally reasonable misgiving -This is why they had three video screens onstage, mainly showing video-clips of their best songs (you know the ones with the car and stuff).

  

Now for a well-considered remark. I felt that Frank Beard (who doesn't sport a beard, lol!) left a lot to be desired, pretty much functioning on autopilot. Was he "not with it" that night, as the youngs say? This being said, he was still more lively than the current AC/DC drummer ...who spends his gigs smoking while playing. Yes. (For the record, the coolest drummer I have ever seen has got to be the original stickman outta The late great Cramps, Nick Knox. The man did not indulge in a single gesture or facial expression that was unnecessary. And he wore leather gloves after dark.)

 

Musically, Dusty Hill is a very tight bassist, sparse, precise, laying minimalist foundations for genial frontman Gibbons to expand on with his multiple blues solos that conjured up the spirit of Rolling St*nes' famous axeman Ronnie Wood or black man LeadBerry. The song breaks and endings were millimetre-tight, the product of many an hour of demanding practice. (The champions at that are of course the lamented Fugazi, with the Chilis a close second.) This was a slick show and then some, oh yes.

 

The fun didn't last long though, as the band took a break from pleasing disco rhythm beats and went back -and I quote, "way back"- to their humble beginnings as they indulged in "blues rock" songs. I mean, "La Grange", what da? Isn't that... French??

 

To be honest, the concert mainly consisted of people going up and down the stairs to buy some beer at the bar and then up and down again to urinate in the water-closets. There was a man, about six seats to my left, who must have weighed 400 pounds and I'm not exaggerating. His idea to get a drink was to come back with four pints.

 

Controversial! During the encore "I was looking for some tush" (???), Gibbons lit up a cigarette -indoors too, remember- that may or may not have contained herbal illegal drugs marijuana. The audience naturally applauded like the criminal act tolerators that they are. They didn't get their way though when they called for the band to return for a second encore. The band did not return. (So no brilliant "Sleeping Bag" then, and no "I Need You Tonight".) Well I, for one, thought that we had heard quite enough for the ten pounds that I had paid, thank you very much. ...It was also the case that I was -like- totally bursting and fancied some nice SAUSAGES on the way back, having neglected to have me tea with all this hullaballoo. Rock 'n roll life is all very nice says I, but not when it interferes with regular meal times! 

 

Sign-off. In short, I was reminded of what Abdul told me just the other day at the Gulshan as I was hesitating over the menu: "all the girls go crazy for the sharp dressed nan". Taracheerio!


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"Need You Tonight" : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuYl2EmwOO8 Beat that, Kaiser Chiefs!

Another monster monster riff -listen to the guitar, just listen to the blipping guitar!- with a touch of the old David Gilmour methinks... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP7wKKsQIYo